Problems with Family

In Song of Songs 1:6, the Beloved says, “Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun” (NIV). In that culture, having a sun tan was demeaning, because it meant you were working out in the fields all day, which meant you were lower class. The rest of the verse confirms this: “My mother's sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I have neglected.”

Remember in Song of Songs the Lover is Jesus and the Beloved is you. And me. It's us individually (not as the Church as a whole but this book is about God's love for the individual you).

Although Song of Songs is a romance, it's not drippy. It starts out very real, right where she is, with problems in her family. She's had to take care of other family member's needs and wants to the neglect of her own. Can anybody relate? Jesus can, that's why this is in the book.

What's the answer? What do you do when family pressures force you to neglect your own needs? Her answer is being close to Jesus, intimacy with Him. But she doesn't know how or where to find Him. That's why she asks in verse 7, “Tell me, you whom I love, where you graze your flock and where you rest your sheep at midday.” She's asking Him, “Where can I find you when I need you?”

Look at His answer in verse 8: “If you do not know, most beautiful of women, follow the tracks of the sheep and graze your young goats by the tents of the shepherds.” In scripture, who does Jesus mean when He tells a parable about sheep? Believers, His church. Who are the shepherds? Pastors. So she's crying out to God, “How can I find you when I need you?” And His answer is, “Go to church.”

When the pressures of our life and the stresses of our family force us to neglect our own needs, where do we go to get our needs met? While the church does not exist to meet our needs, God will meet us there and He will meet our needs through fellowship with our Heavenly family – His church.

Let the pressures of this life and family stress drive you to church, not away from it. Don't wait until you've got it all together. Go while you're a mess. Let the fellowship of God's people comfort you and speak life into you, and your Lover-King Himself will meet you there.