Peace Keeping Vs Peace Making

For a long time (over a decade), I kept peace in my house at any price. I sacrificed what God told me was right for the sake of peace. I fled from conflict. If something was wrong in my house, and I knew addressing it would lead to a fight, I kept my mouth shut. If my wife was angry, even if her position was diametrically opposed to what God told me, I capitulated to keep peace in my home. And I was wrong do to so. This was cowardly. This was my sin. It devastated our home and our marriage. When I finally learned to stand up, there had been so much water under the bridge, that marriage ended in divorce. Not proud of it, not ok, just fact.

Many husbands do this. It's actually epidemic in our society. Ever hear the phrase, “Happy wife, happy life”? Or how about, “Ain't mama happy, ain't nobody happy”? These are demonic lies from the pit of hell. Do not let them become ingrained in your marriage.

Now, don't jump to the other extreme here. Husbands aren't supposed to be tyrants or overlords, either. Paul compared marriage to the relationship of Christ and the church. It's a helpful analogy. The husband should be the most sacrificial in the relationship, just like Christ sacrificed much more than we the church ever can. But Christ is definitely in charge, as should be the husband.

Matthew 5:9 doesn't say, “Blessed are the peace keepers.” It says, “Blessed are the peace makers.” This applies to all human relationships, not just marriage. Braving the argument and making peace by offering godly terms, boundaries, and solutions—that's what Jesus says is blessed in the beatitudes. Seek the Lord and come in unity to a godly resolution. But don't capitulate to what you know is wrong just to keep a false peace.